Although this blog is about ‘motherhood,’ I find the mom thing to be very much tied to the wife thing. No matter how hard you try to separate church and state, your effectiveness as a wife can sometimes be undermined by your dedication to the practice of motherhood. Before you get nervous about the direction this missive might be taking, relax. This is no rallying cry for wives to meet their husbands wrapped in Saran Wrap. I just wanted to set the stage. See, last week, my husband and I skipped town for four, fabulous, fun-filled days in New York City. Maybe it was because our time there was such a total juxtaposition to the previous 11 months, fraught as they were with moving, pregnancy and new baby-- or maybe it was because I actually had the time to think deep thoughts? Whatever the reason, I took these two things away from our weekend away:
1) Your husband gets cuter and funnier the longer you are away from your children. I was telling my friend Sarah about this and she added, “Also, the more drinks you have.” Well, this is also true--and sage advice--for a short term fix, like if you’re having a ‘date night’ once a month and you and your partner are both keen to know one another in the Biblical sense. However, I can’t recommend enough getting out of town without your kids. I remember another girlfriend telling me about the time she and her husband went to Paris for 10 days. She said it took 3 days for her to fully unwind, but then…City of Lights was City of Love. And that’s just it. You can’t expect your jaw to unclench when you’ve only got three hours out of the house. To truly decompress—which is vital if you want to ignite the pilot light—you need to get away. And yes, it’s totally important to do things as a family, but you shouldn’t have to sacrifice your individual selves on the alter of parenthood. You should occasionally unearth the fun people you used to be before the kids came along and siphoned off 97% of your attention span.
2) We did a number of fun things while in NYC. We went to MoMA, took a carriage ride through Central Park at dusk, saw a great Broadway play, saw Bruce Springsteen at Madison Square Gardens, and purchased some Fifth Avenue baubles to commemorate my bearing a third (and final) child. Lot’s of stuff that was primarily on my fun tab. However, the event that was actually the most noteworthy for me was watching the NY Giants play at Meadowlands. I am not a sports-loving woman. I NEVER watch any sports on TV. In fact, I discourage it. I don’t mind to see sports live on occasion, but I’m not one of those girls who would wear a jersey to the game. EVER. All this to say, I didn’t go all charged up for some NFL. But it was actually really fun. The weather was perfect, the stadium huge and boisterous, and the game a good one. I’ve never been around so many men in one place and it was interesting to observe them interacting in their native environment. While listening to them heckle the ref or converse in short, clipped sentences about uncomplicated topics like sports, other guys they know, vehicles, and occasionally, girls in the vicinity, I realized anew what simple creatures the male species can be. Going to a game is all most of them really ask for. Now, in the interest of full disclosure, I was feeling very magnanimous following the Fifth Avenue shopping spree. But still, I was touched. I even went so far as to privately concur that most of the time, men are either at work or they’re with wives/girlfriends/sisters/mothers, getting some manner of grief for not doing whatever it is they’re supposed to be doing fast enough or right enough. Or perhaps that’s just my husband? Anyhoo…when they’re at a sporting event, enjoying easy camaraderie and a cold one while watching great athletes play a game they love, guys can exhale.
Him going to the game is the man-equivalent of you going for a nice lunch with your girlfriends, discussing six different relationship dramas ad nauseum, and then buying fabulous boots at 60% off. It’s primal bonding with your own kind. He needs it, just like you need it.
And while I’m totally not endorsing season’s tickets to every game with a ball, I will try to be more benevolent as we head into play-off season.
I will even go so far as to say, (ahem) “Go Riders!”
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