Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Monday, August 3, 2009
“A LOW PROBABILITY”
Last Friday, I had to take Zoe for her first round of immunizations. Before the nurse brought the needle out, she told me she had a questionnaire for me to take. I thought it would be a “Rating Your Public Health Experience” questionnaire and was surprised when the first question read,
“I have been able to laugh and see the funny side of things:
• As much as I always could
• Not quite so much now
• Definitely not quite so much now
• No, not at all”
I just had my third child two months ago. I am jiggly all over, my older kids often freely comment on how much their lives suck because I am ALWAYS FEEDING THE BABY, my husband has been working a lot, and we just hosted 60 people for brunch for my husband’s parents’ 50th anniversary. I thought I was a champ for choosing the “Not quite so much now” option.
I answered the remaining nine questions as honestly as I could. No, I never feel scared or panicky for no very good reason, but yes, I have felt sad and miserable sometimes. I only occasionally have cried, but the thought of harming myself has never occurred. Yes, sometimes I felt things have been getting on top of me, but no, I haven’t been so unhappy that I have trouble sleeping.
I scored a 7 (out of 24) on the Edinburgh Postnatal Depression Scale, which was on the high end of the 0 – 8 score, indicating “a low probability of postnatal depression.” The nurse felt it was enough of a concern to follow up and ask some more questions, including “Do you ever feel like shaking the baby”!
“My husband, yes, but the baby, no,” I replied. She didn’t laugh. I then felt the need to explain that I had two older kids, and my life has changed vastly in the last six months-- at this time last year I was living the life of my dreams in Vietnam (kids in school all day, household staff, lunching with friends, manicures, great shopping, etc.) She still didn’t seem convinced that I wasn’t about to pack everyone into a minivan and drive them into the river. I sighed.
“Look, even before I had the baby I think I would have scored the same. I am Type A and impatient and anal at the best of times. And if it helps at all, I love this baby with the fire of a thousand suns. It’s everyone else that bugs me.”
Oddly, that reassured the nurse. She wrapped up by telling me I should expect moodiness for up to a year due to hormonal swings. As I was driving home, I felt like a weight had lifted. It was no longer my fault that I was a first class bitch on mornings that I got puked on three times before I’d had a coffee or that I was tremendously terse on the phone when my husband called to say he’d be 45 minutes late for dinner. I was well within the normal range.
“I have been able to laugh and see the funny side of things:
• As much as I always could
• Not quite so much now
• Definitely not quite so much now
• No, not at all”
I just had my third child two months ago. I am jiggly all over, my older kids often freely comment on how much their lives suck because I am ALWAYS FEEDING THE BABY, my husband has been working a lot, and we just hosted 60 people for brunch for my husband’s parents’ 50th anniversary. I thought I was a champ for choosing the “Not quite so much now” option.
I answered the remaining nine questions as honestly as I could. No, I never feel scared or panicky for no very good reason, but yes, I have felt sad and miserable sometimes. I only occasionally have cried, but the thought of harming myself has never occurred. Yes, sometimes I felt things have been getting on top of me, but no, I haven’t been so unhappy that I have trouble sleeping.
I scored a 7 (out of 24) on the Edinburgh Postnatal Depression Scale, which was on the high end of the 0 – 8 score, indicating “a low probability of postnatal depression.” The nurse felt it was enough of a concern to follow up and ask some more questions, including “Do you ever feel like shaking the baby”!
“My husband, yes, but the baby, no,” I replied. She didn’t laugh. I then felt the need to explain that I had two older kids, and my life has changed vastly in the last six months-- at this time last year I was living the life of my dreams in Vietnam (kids in school all day, household staff, lunching with friends, manicures, great shopping, etc.) She still didn’t seem convinced that I wasn’t about to pack everyone into a minivan and drive them into the river. I sighed.
“Look, even before I had the baby I think I would have scored the same. I am Type A and impatient and anal at the best of times. And if it helps at all, I love this baby with the fire of a thousand suns. It’s everyone else that bugs me.”
Oddly, that reassured the nurse. She wrapped up by telling me I should expect moodiness for up to a year due to hormonal swings. As I was driving home, I felt like a weight had lifted. It was no longer my fault that I was a first class bitch on mornings that I got puked on three times before I’d had a coffee or that I was tremendously terse on the phone when my husband called to say he’d be 45 minutes late for dinner. I was well within the normal range.
ABOUT THE BLOGGER
Dona Johnson is a 40-year-old mother of three who has recently returned to Canada after spending much of the past ten years in Russia, Indonesia and Vietnam. It bears mentioning that this would be a much more positive blog about motherhood if she still enjoyed the services of the maid, nanny, gardener and driver she regretfully left behind in Ho Chi Minh City.
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